for this rainy day… April 20, 2009
hooked on Billie Holiday
Have been wildly entertained by Baudelaire’s squibs… this one is certainly one of my favorites…
â€œThe more a man cultivates the arts the less he fornicates. A more and more apparent cleavage occurs between the spirit and the brute.
Only the brute is really potent. Sexuality is the lyricism of the masses.
To fornicate is to aspire to enter into another; the artist never emerges from himself.
I have forgotten the name of that slut. Bah! I shall remember it at the last judgment.
Music conveys the idea of space.
So do all the arts, more or less; since they are number and since number is a translation of space.
To will every day to be the greatest of men!â€
by Charles Baudelaire
O fleece, billowing even down the neck!
O locks! O perfume charged with nonchalance!
What ecstasy! To people our dark room
With memories that sleep within this mane,
I’ll shake it like a kerchief in the air!
Languorous Asia, scorching Africa,
A whole world distant, vacant, nearly dead,
Lives in your depths, o forest of perfume!
While other spirits sail on symphonies
Mine, my beloved, swims along your scent.
I will go down there, where the trees and men,
Both full of sap, soon in the ardent heat;
Strong swelling tresses, carry me away!
Yours, sea of ebony, a dazzling dream
Of sails, of oarsmen, waving pennants, masts:
A sounding harbour where my soul can drink
From great floods subtle tones, perfumes and hues;
Where vessels gliding in the moire and gold
open their wide arms to the glorious sky
Where purely trembles the eternal warmth.
I’ll plunge my drunken head, dizzy with love
In this black sea where that one is confined;
My subtle soul that rolls in its caress
Will bring you back, o fertile indolence!
Infinite lulling, leisure steeped in balm!
Blue head of hair, tent of spread shadows, you
Give me the azure of the open sky;
In downy wisps along your twisted locks
I’ll gladly drug myself on mingled scents,
Essence of cocoa-oil, pitch and musk.
For ages! always! in your heavy mane
My hand will scatter ruby, sapphire, pearl
So you will never chill to my desire!
Are you not the oasis where I dream,
My drinking-gourd for memory’s fine wine?
Waking up 7:30 a.m. phoneless, dropped it in my girl’s car last night… oh, well, peace is good Juiced all the vegetable I have in the fridge, really want to start feeling happy and healthy.
Never once had a new year resolution, guess somehow I would not admit my life could possibly be anything less than perfect… How does one get so delusional?
So here is my new birthday resolution:
I will learn to be kind to myself,
I will not shy away from compliments,
I will commit myself to working hard on my career and give up my coward idea of raising Ryeland sheep upstate somewhere (hah, this is so not made up… but, they are really really cute…),
I will find a new apartment,
I will not be scared of real life,
I WILL STOP PRETENDING THAT I LOVE HELLO KITTY, and
I will not snap at Lisa ever again (hah, Lisa, this one is for you… I will try hard…), and
I am giving myself 365 days to see all these through… wish me luck…
2:15 p.m.100 sit ups with weights, 6.4 miles running furiously like there is no tomorrow with Wii Fit, ready to head the shower and start my — birthday — with 3 hours of teaching…
I have a feeling this post is gonna be very long today…
5:51 p.m. Lisa arrived early before I finish teaching… I snapped at her for making noises… (sorry )
6:30 p.m. finally got a phrase through with my student Ryota, let him go at last I continue snapping at Lisa — too wired from teaching — sorry again
7:35 p.m. first round of gift opening, you can see I wasn’t really amused with the hello kitty tiara… hah… Amazingly, HuaHua chewed up my pink keychain just 2 days ago, I was making mental note to self “need a new pink keychain” and Linda read my mind! I got a Juicy pink keychain as one of a big bag of gifts I got from her!!!! I am getting spoiled… But that book on my lap from Lisa is to die for (she was right, it does weigh as much as me)… I am sure Linda is plotting on our visit to El Bulli in Spain now…
8:15 p.m. somewhere in Soho, on the street
8:17 p.m. arriving CRIF DOGS, a hotdog stand with a secret passage to its hidden bar!!!!!
Me & bff Linda
drinking Absinthe… imagine!!!!!
this concludes the first round of drinking…
9:00 p.m. Pure Food and Wine, my fav raw restaurant!!!! Love you girls for thinking of it
giving bff Celine some raw chocolate
2nd round of gifts, from Zoe too
Celine & Linda, I am so happy they like each other
Me & Celine
sorry, these are the only 2 pix I took of the food, I was not coherent enough to remember to take pictures any longer…
12:07 a.m. back home
Vegan cake made with Agave, no sugar!!! And the little cake on the side is actually a cake for HuaHua… my girls are nuts in love with my dog!!!!
3rd round of gifts, I have rich girlfriends… !!!!!!!!
cutting my cake, eating my cake, enjoying my friends, feeling loved and inspired…
How did this night end? I passed out on the chaise while we were listening to my playing of the Saint-SaÃ«ns-Godowski Le Cygne… No one could move me or wake me, I was in my dream heaven… happy and sleeping for once…
After my performance at the Kosciuszko Foundation, caught the kitchen open at the last minute at one of my fav vegan restaurants Candle 79.Â
The moon tonight is strangely close to the ground…Â
The moon tonight, somewhere soho, after a jazz performance and dinner with my dearest Celine & Robert…Â
Made a big round walking in the cold trying to find the famed Chelsea Market after luncheon at Morimoto’s (I only eat salad there, don’t worry ), and to later realize it was right next door to the restaurant!
Got lots of produce and handmade bread baskets home, went on meeting Linda at the State Theater for Peter Martins’ event “Tribute to SAB” about Balanchine’s teaching which got me totally hooked…
Spent another hour afterward with Linda at Barnes & Noble looking through lots and lots of cookbooks, thinking about making artisan bread… hmm, need to start my sourdough… if I can find time… This was such a fine day…
Saw Linda after a recital I played, started babbling about how I would LOVE to tango.
Miraculously, she got the real Argentinean tango instructor Alicia, rented a studio, got all her friends together, there we were, having tango lessons!
Exporting these frames off of the video I took during our lesson this Wednesday, my Sony high-def cam takes fab enough video image (even in standard format) to withstand the test of still image.
Linda Tao (above) — doctor, ballet dancer, pianist, and many many things
I am thinking of going pro now… AS IF!!!
Thank you Linda…
Found out about the pugs meet up group, armed with my pug bag, I leisurely walked down riverside in the most beautiful sunshine today to meet pugs and their proud “parents” as a fact finding mission.
Even though I am moving to the country soon to pursue my dream of having a vegetable garden with lots of bunnies running around, I am still amazed with how one can find anything and everything to do in this city I have never seen so many pugs all together. It wasn’t a large turn out, but there were about 20 pugs at the playground. Pictured is my very very favorite one, too bad the owner wasn’t there for me to get the breeder’s information. I think I am going to add a pug into my family mix, my home IS going to turn into a zoo after all… How I adore all living creatures…
What a peacefully happy day it turned out to be